Not That Girl
by camiguin
Summary: Songfic using 'I'm Not That Girl' from Wicked.


Songfic using 'I'm Not That Girl' from Wicked. It did not turn out the way I imagined it would, especially the ending, but it wrote so easily that I guess I can't argue with it too much. Still, I'm not sure I like it very much. I don't own Big Bang Theory or Wicked.

_Hands touch, eyes meet  
Sudden silence, sudden heat  
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl  
He could be that boy  
But I'm not that girl_

That Tuesday night at The Cheesecake Factory was just like any other. Raj got the meat lovers pizza with no meat, Howard got the shrimp Caesar salad, Leonard the quesadilla with soy cheese, and Sheldon got the barbecue bacon cheeseburger, _barbecue_, bacon, and cheese on the side.

Handing Sheldon his plate her hand touched his. A shock of electricity raced up her arm from where her skin met his. Bright blue eyes stared into her green ones with an emotion that she couldn't define.

"Sorry Moonpie," she whispered so only her could hear her with his Vulcan hearing and turned back to her work wondering if he could still feel that shock too. It doesn't matter. Sheldon has never seemed to have a deal. She's not that girl.

_Don't dream too far  
Don't lose sight of who you are  
Don't remember that rush of joy  
He could be that boy  
I'm not that girl_

Penny goes home for a quick visit over the summer. She has fun and it's always nice to see her family but she misses the boys, especially Sheldon. She misses the thrill she gets when she argues with him and their Halo Night battles against the others. It's Tuesday night and she wonders how he is doing with her temporary replacement and if he's having a fit that his hamburger isn't just perfect.

Three days later she is back in California and she goes across the hall to visit. Leonard greets her with her mail and Sheldon hardly acknowledges her presence. She asks how their week has been and it seems everything went perfect and she was hardly missed. It doesn't matter, she tries to convince herself. She doesn't need to hear how bad it was and how much she was missed. She's not that girl.

_Ev'ry so often we long to steal  
To the land of what-might-have-been  
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel  
When reality sets back in_

After hours of tossing and turning in the hot sheets Penny finally gave in and took a sleeping pill. After remaking her bed and changing into different pajamas she lays down and drifts off to sleep.

She dreams about Sheldon, not for the first time. It's a mix between events that have happened and things she wishes would happen.

First, Sheldon singing 'Soft Kitty' to her when she dislocated her arm and ending the round with a kiss on her forehead and then another on her lips.

Next, the events in the bowling alley the night she broke it off with Leonard. But instead of standing there and seething he goes after her. Instead of yelling, "Wheaton!" in that furious tone of voice he yells, "Penny!" like he is actually concerned about her.

Then, that awful Valentines Day when the two of them were sick with the flu. Penny hands Sheldon his sandwich and she sits down next to him. Instead of staying tucked into his corner of the sofa, cocooned in his comforter he reaches out a hand and grasps hers. "I don't like being sick," Dream Sheldon says. "But I'm glad you are here with me."

Finally her dream ends with Laundry Night. She is sitting on one of the dryers and he is folding his shirts with his folding board. He is explaining another abstract theory to her and she is asking questions just to rile him up. Deciding she has teased him enough for one night, Penny slips off the dryer and walks past him. As she passes him she reaches up and grabs a handful of fabric, pulling him down she kisses him and walks away. As she walks away she can feel his eyes following her.

Penny wakes up and rolls over. It was just a dream. She's not that girl.

_Blithe smile, lithe limb  
She who's winsome, she wins him  
Gold hair with a gentle curl  
That's the girl he chose  
And Heaven knows  
I'm not that girl_

Sheldon has another physics groupie. This one is actually rather cute with her curly blonde hair and clear blue eyes, She looks just like a little china doll she used to have as a child.

Penny hated her. True, she wasn't as obnoxious as the others but Sheldon actually seems to like her in more ways than just an ego fluffer, if seeing the girl with her arm through Sheldon's as they walked down the stairs when she passed them on her way up from work was any clue.

Later, during Halo night Penny talks to the girl, trying to figure out what she wants, and begins to realize that this girl is exactly what Sheldon needs to make him human. Her sense of humor is as twisted as his, she hails from a town in Texas only three hours away, she understands his work. And Penny can't hate her. But she's not that girl.

_Don't wish, don't start  
Wishing only wounds the heart  
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl  
I'm not that girl..._

Sitting on the roof of the apartment building and looking at the stars and counting the cars as they pass by, Penny thinks about the last few years that she's lived next to the boys. They are successful physicists with more degrees between them than most thermometers, she is a wannabe actress that half the time can't make her rent on time. She is tired and her heart hurts from all the broken dreams that seem to be surrounding her. Decision made; Penny is moving home.


End file.
